


get you the moon

by Laeana



Series: and winter never seemed cold [3]
Category: Biathlon RPF
Genre: About That Relay, Boys Kissing, Established Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, French Team (implied), Friendship, Hugs, Love, M/M, Mental Breakdown (Implied), Shifting The POV here ;), Sleeping Together, Talking, Tired Emilien, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Worried Quentin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 13:46:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29885466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeana/pseuds/Laeana
Summary: " And if I could, I'd get you the moonAnd give it to you "Emilien and Quentin have a more serious conversation about their relationships and what they faced separately.
Relationships: Quentin Fillon Maillet/Emilien Jacquelin
Series: and winter never seemed cold [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2192715
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	get you the moon

**Author's Note:**

> (get you the moon by kina ft snow)

Quentin watches Simon and Antonin have a fairly ordinary conversation at his side, quite ordinary, and he doesn't really want to participate in it. He just doesn’t think like it. He is thoughtful, playing nervously with the pendant he kept under his sweatshirt. A memory he still has with him and which he has not yet let go.

He closes his eyes for a moment. Feelings battle in his stomach, with no one succeeding in gaining the upper hand. It's a strange situation. It’s a big mess. His head is a mess, his thoughts are a mess. It seems like this afternoon left him unsettled. He doesn't even know how he feels right now, what he wants right now.

Or, in fact, he does.

He wants to run to see Emilien, even if that means going back there, he wants to take him in his arms, to have him against him, to kiss him, to tell him that he will eventually find a solution, that everything will be fine. He wants to let him know how precious he is, he wants to talk to him, to comfort him.

He can't let his instincts take over, he can't act the way he wants to. He always tries to keep a distance between them when it comes to being public, they don't want their relationship to be known. It's still too recent, too fresh. They've known each other for years, have loved each other just as long but have been dating for what ? One week ? A bit more ?

He doesn't really think about the relay. He feels that Emilien knows how to be hard on himself, sometimes he would like him to be less so. His boyfriend still adopts that nonchalant, reckless, careless, too carefree demeanor, but he knows what's behind it. The doubts and questions and the fear of not being enough.

“Simon and I are going to continue the conversation in the room, I guess you will not follow us ?”

Quentin blinks, brutally brought back to reality. He didn't even notice that his two teammates' conversation ended and that only Antonin remained by his side. Their third companion probably already left.

“I … yeah, I think I'm going to pass.”

“I saw that you weren't listening to us haha, you probably would have reacted a little more if you had heard Simon.”

“Simon ?”

Antonin laughs softly, mockingly, almost paternalistic in a way that he can’t understand; they are only a year apart. He has the eyes of the one who knows.

“You really haven't listened to anything but hey, you shouldn't blame him. He was angry, I would sort it out somehow. In any case, I think Emilien has returned to the hotel, you can go see him.”

“Really ?!” he immediately regrets his momentum, damn not subtle at all, “I-I mean … I was thinking of going see him.”

“Of course, of course. Do so, I think he'll need you. I'll go back to Simon, if you'll excuse me.”

Quentin feels his cheeks take on a red hint as he watches the older man walk away with a vague wave of his hand as a goodbye. He takes a deep breath, he arrives at the part he dreaded so much.

Worry. Yeah, he's worried. He still has a bit of bitterness and disappointment with the race, with what happened, that’s true, but more than anything, more than anything that constitutes his professional life, it’s all about his boyfriend.

Knowing that Emilien stayed on the track longer and returned to the hotel late only intensifies his feelings. He knows he needs to see him and he needs to see him now. Right here right now. He needs to know how he's doing.

He knocks on his door but gets no answer. He bites his lip. He tries again and again, worry starting to overflow in his chest.

“Emilien, I swear to god if you don't open-”

The door clicks and reveals the youngest one. Barely dressed, his skin a little red, a towel around his shoulders, in fact that's the only thing he's wearing as a top, apparently just out of the shower. His face is soft.

“Oh, it's just you.”

He frowns upon hearing this phrase.

“Just me ? Who else were you expecting ?”

Emilien doesn’t answer but moves aside, letting him in. He already knows this room, a little too well, moreover. They spent most of their nights together, their rooms next to each other, making sure that no one else sees them. Always careful, never totally relaxed. 

“I … I don't want to talk about it.” the youngest mutters as soon as the door slams.

“You don't have to.”

“And I … I don't know what I want or what I don't want. I'm really tired, I …”

He shrugs and just opens his arms. Emilien dives almost immediately in, with a trembling breath, as if he has the terrible need to be held at this precise moment. He feels him shudder against him, shaken from within.

However, no tears. Just loud exhalations, bordering on whistling.

“I … I fucked up again but it's so, so different. I fucked you all over. Before it was … it was just me but here … because of me … you had the perfect race … it's like at the beginning of the season I-”

“Calm down, Emil’, breathe. Breathe properly, okay ? It's going to be fine, everything will be fine.”

Against him, the other biathlete collapsed almost entirely, letting himself go incredibly fast. It surprises him and scares him a little. It’s not his habit to give up so quickly, to give up so suddenly. He got used to more obstacles, more competition. Something is seriously wrong with his partner. A crisis of faith ?

“You can't say that. The problems keep coming back, that's why I … I'm not good enough. And you weren't there. You weren't there but I was holding on to you anyway.”

“It happens to everyone to make mistakes, to fall and to get misled.”

“It's still … still there. I would have done better not to be in this relay and you would have had the podium I just …”

“Emilien.”

Quentin loosens the embrace so that they are face to face again. Emilien seems miserable to him at this moment, the new failure and the consideration of the team weighing even more on his shoulders. He hates all of it. He hates to see him like that, he hates to see him destroy himself that way.

He leans forward and kisses him deeply. He wants to be there for him, he wants to help him. But he has to take his mind off things a bit to begin with. He must bring him back to himself, to reality, to them. 

He knows how to take care of him and he knows how to love him. He tries to transcribe his emotions through this kiss. A little relief invades his chest when his companion finally responds. Mouth to mouth, breathing only each other. The feeling of infinity, of time that doesn’t pass properly remains in his mind. They always feel eternal when they are side by side.

When he pulls back, he keeps his hands on his boyfriend's cheeks. Tired seems a good word to describe him. He sighs softly.

“We'll talk about it again, okay ? But first, we're going to change and we're going to go to bed.”

“So you're sure I won't run away, is that it ?”

He is surprised, almost unsettled by the teasing. Definitely struck dumb in front of these flashes which return from the personality of the youngest one.

“You have uncovered my true intentions.” He just laughs, placing a kiss on Emilien's nose, who blushes.

Then it's the turn of the dim lights and the surrounding calm as they are under the covers, facing each other, their hands intertwined.

“Sometimes … sometimes it's even worse than today. My emotions … I'm drowning in it and I can't seem to get rid of it and you weren't there yet. I had so much trouble in the off-season. So hard to free myself from all of this ; the start of the season confirmed the worst, I had to pull myself together again.”

“But it happens to everyone, Emil’. The bad days, the bad results, the bad times in the career. Do you think … that this emptiness hasn't been haunting me too ? This fear of losing too much, of not being enough … it happens, you have done good results, you have always managed to show the best of yourself.”

“I know, I … I saw you …”

Quentin raises his eyebrows questioningly, but Emilien cannot explain himself further, his gaze vague, as though remembering something beyond his reach. He brings their hands back to him and kisses gently the back of his boyfriend's.

“What happened has happened, you need to focus on what is to come. Finish the season in the best possible way, okay, sweetheart ?”

“Aren't you … angry ? Because of me, you lost a medal.”

The younger man's face is crumpled with incomprehension. But also apprehension. A feeling of twisting in his stomach. He doesn't like it. There’s so many things wrong with this situation. He doesn't like the fact that the other athlete thinks he would prioritize his successes over their relationship.

He knows the insecurities his partner may have about it, he has the same. Because it's too new, it's too recent. Because they love each other but everything seems so fragile, they are afraid of losing what they have. 

“Of course not, the most important … fuck, it's you, Emilien. It will always be you, I don't want to let our sport, the biathlon, come between us.”

“I know. I should know that. I keep thinking, I think too much.”

“You got me used to worrying less about things. When we weren't dating …”

“It can't be comparable ! It's not even comparable … of course I care more about you, about us. I love you, I …”

He breaks the distance between them and brings the younger one back to him until he is in his arms. They are much better that way, they belong to each other. They have the same fears, even if they don't talk about them. Even though Emilien stayed home far too long after they got together, to the point of almost missing his own flight. 

“I love you too, Emil’, that's why I want you to trust us more.”

The other biathlete mutters something against his shoulder, which he doesn't understand. He just feels the vibration of his throat against his bare skin.

“What was that ?”

“It's in me that I find it hard to believe, right now …”

Quentin kisses Emilien's cheek, distracted for a moment by its softness and the fact that he has shaved since the last time. He wants to hug him tight, keep him in his arms and never let him go again. He wants to protect him from all these unforeseeable but obligatory hazards of life.

“You have to believe it. You've done so much better already, I'm sure you can do it. It's only a bad time, already behind you. I’ll come to train tomorrow with you, we’ll review everything that doesn’t seem right. If you find it hard to trust yourself, then believe in me. Believe in us.” 

Emilien snorts followed by a small laugh.

“If you say it like that, how can I refuse it.”

“Yes that's a good question.”

"And I’m the one who's cocky ?”

But Emilien is by no means angry, he can feel his smile against his skin as he shifts slightly, moving them simply, rearranging their positions to be more comfortable.

“Everything will be better tomorrow, Emil’, so have a good night's sleep.”

“Mmh mmh.”

Quentin already feels his boyfriend relax against him, on purpose, willingly. He can't help but think that their relationship is one of the best things that has happened to him. Far from everything he imagined and everything he fears. They’re safe and they will be happy. Together.

**Author's Note:**

> oops, it happened again ... was kinda sad for it and worried about Emilien, so I've decided to write him the comfort he deserved with Quentin haha. Just have a soft spot for the Frenchy, you know?  
> I allowed myself to include more French team dynamics, even if I didn't yet included the Girls into it haha. Maybe for later, will not be that bad :)
> 
> They made me worried but, phew, Emilien went through it today, with no mistakes for this shot ... bad for my heart I swear!
> 
> Anyway, I thought about another part, maybe for later, a story of jealousy hehe, meanwhile, I hope you liked this part!
> 
> tumblr : laeana


End file.
